


Lost Without You

by Fandom_Stuff



Series: A Collection of Ficlets [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Apple Orchards, Cheating, Exes, F/M, Halloween, Homophobic John Winchester, brief homophobic slurs, but there's cuteness, dean and cas were exes, haunted hayride, haunted hedge maze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27255850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Stuff/pseuds/Fandom_Stuff
Summary: Meg convinces Castiel to spend Halloween night at the local apple orchard which was the last place that he would expect to run into his ex.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Castiel, Destiel
Series: A Collection of Ficlets [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888318
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	Lost Without You

Castiel couldn’t believe that he’d let Meg drag him out to the town’s apple orchard. He had assignments to do and his Saturday was supposed to be used as a study day for his Chemistry test on Monday not to go apple picking. But Meg had insisted and so here he was, standing in line waiting to pay for a bag so they could go into the orchards. 

“Lighten up will ya Clarence?” Meg said as she bumped her shoulder against Castiel’s. “Be happy for once, it won’t kill you.”

“I am happy,” Castiel replied as he let a small smile pull the corners of his mouth up and Meg pouted at him. “See?” 

Meg rolled her eyes as they stepped up to the window where she paid for their bags. “It’s Halloween, we’re here to have _fun_ , so I don’t want to see any frowns on that chiseled face of yours.”

Castiel chuckled at that which made Meg giggle in delight. “Okay, fine I’ll try to have fun.” 

“That’s the spirit. Now let’s go get lost in the orchard.” 

Castiel followed Meg through the path that led to the apple trees and they spent a good hour climbing trees and tossing apples to each other while they tried to discover which apple was their favorite. Castiel was partial to the Cortland’s, there was something about them that he rather enjoyed, while Meg was more of a Macoun fan. Castiel found her choice of apple fitting to her personality: small and tart.

Once their bags were brimming with apples, they headed back to the main store of the farm and bought cider donuts and caramel apples, which they ate at the picnic tables by the farm animals. 

“We should get pumpkins,” Meg said as she was licking the residual cinnamon sugar from her donut off her fingers. 

“Why?” 

“Why _not_?” Meg countered. 

Castiel couldn’t really argue with her there, so he soon found himself standing by the pumpkin patch looking over the selection. His eye caught on a small little pumpkin that looked like it would look perfect on the shelf in front of his window. He selected it and Meg smiled at him in approval before choosing her own. 

It was starting to get dark by the time they’d paid, and Meg suggested that they drop off their apples and pumpkins in the car and then head over to the haunted hayride that was going to be starting shortly. 

Castiel wanted to go home already, but he promised Meg he’d spend the night with her, so he begrudgingly followed her to the hayride line. The mother’s and small children had left the orchard by now, so it was just teenagers and college students from the local university (which Castiel attended) that were left. 

“Do you think you’ll get scared?” Meg asked as they climbed onto the hayride and sat down on a bail of hay. 

Castiel shrugged. “Not much scares me.”

“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

The hayride started up and they were on their way, taking winding trails and brushing past low hanging branches. A chainsaw started up in the distance, and hands reached out to grab them. Meg squealed in surprise when one of them locked around her wrist and she grabbed onto Castiel’s hand and he just gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

One of the people on the ride was suddenly pulled off their seat and Castiel watched them disappear into the trees. The whole ride didn’t faze him in the slightest and when they climbed off it Meg was staring at him. 

“What?” 

“You really weren’t scared?”

“No.” 

“Damn. Maybe the haunted maze will scare you.” 

“I doubt that.”

Meg pulled Castiel towards the maze and he groaned when he saw how long the line was. “We’re waiting,” Meg stated. 

“Can’t we just go home?” Castiel asked. 

“Nope, we are doing this.” 

“I hate you.” 

Meg grinned at him and gave his shoulder a small pat. “No you don’t.”

“Tonight I do.” 

Meg snorted as she sat down on the ground, pulling her legs into a crisscross. “That’s fair. But you’re having fun, right?”

Castiel sighed as he joined her on the ground and shoved his hands in his jacket pocket to hide them from the bitter Halloween air. “I suppose.” 

Meg smiled. “I’ll take it.”

By the time they reached the front of the line, Castiel was shivering. The fall breeze was on the brink of becoming a winter chill and he was not looking forward to it. 

They paid for their tickets and then entered the maze. “Which way should we go?” Meg asked as they came to a crossroads. 

“Left,” Castiel replied. 

“Are you sure? I think right might be the better way,” Meg said. 

“You asked for my opinion, I gave it, but I’ll go whatever way you want.” 

“What if we split up,” Meg suggested.

“Why would we do that? We’ll just get lost.” 

“Okay, how about this, you go left, I’ll go right. Text me if you hit a dead end, I’ll do the same.” 

Castiel shrugged. “Okay, fine.” 

Meg grinned at him before she skipped off to the right. “Good luck,” she called over her shoulder. 

“You too.” 

With a sigh, Castiel headed off to the left and followed the curve of the maze. He hadn’t gone more than ten steps when someone jumped out in front of him in a ghillie suit, arms raised with a bloody knife in one hand. 

“Hello,” Castiel greeted him, unfazed. 

The person in the suit let out a sigh and stepped aside so Castiel could pass him. “Most people scream,” he said as Castiel moved around him. 

“I’m not most people,” he responded. 

As he continued his walk down the maze, he heard screaming and he rounded a corner just in time to see a girl trip and fall, sending a cloud of dust up around her. 

“Are you okay?” he asked as he came up to her. 

There was no response and Castiel turned on his phone flashlight and let the beam of light wash over her. The first thing the light hit was her head and that was as far as he needed to go to know something was wrong. Blood was seeping from an unseen wound onto the rock under her head. 

“Is this a trick?” Castiel asked warily. 

There was no answer and so he hesitantly moved towards her and reached out a hand towards her neck. There was a pulse, but Castiel could feel it wavering and he instantly turned on his heel towards the entrance of the maze. 

“Help!” he shouted as he burst out of the maze. 

“Woah, what’s wrong?” the cashier at the front booth called out.

“There isn’t supposed to be a girl who hit her head in the maze, right?” he asked, just to make sure this was something serious. 

The cashier’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No. I’ll call 9-1-1. Where in the maze is she?” 

“I’ll show you,” Castiel replied. 

The cashier nodded and waved over another employee. “Dean! Go with this guy, there’s a girl injured in the maze!” 

Castiel felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of that name and when _Dean_ came into the light by the maze, a first aid kit in his hands, his heart all but dropped to his feet. 

_Shit_. 

Of course Dean worked here and of course of all the nights he had to be working it was this one. But he didn’t give Dean a chance to say anything, not even when he saw the flicker of recognition pass over his face, he just turned towards the maze and started to run. 

The sound of Dean’s footsteps behind him pushed him faster until he came upon the girl where she was still lying, head resting against the rock. Dean moved past Castiel to get to her, opening the first aid kit and pulling out a huge wad of gauze which he immediately began to press to the back of her head.

“What happened?” Dean asked, and God Castiel had missed his voice. He _shouldn’t_ have missed his voice… not after what Dean did… not after how their relationship had ended. 

“She was running and she fell,” he replied. 

Dean nodded, not taking his eyes off the girl. Silence stretched between them, and Castiel’s eyes landed on the heavy set of Dean’s shoulders and the smooth planes of his back that were prominent in the tight red shirt he was wearing. 

_Stop it._ He chastised himself as he forced his eyes away from Dean’s back. 

When the sound of sirens could be heard and heavy footsteps echoed behind them from the paramedics as they came to kneel beside the girl and take over for Dean, Castiel tried to slip away, but a hand clamped down on his arm. 

“Cas, wait,” Dean said. 

Castiel had to suppress the shiver that wanted to travel up his body at the sound of his name in Dean’s mouth as he turned to look at him. He shook his head slowly. “Dean, I can’t.”

“Please,” Dean begged. “I need to explain.” 

A heat started to boil under his skin and he wrenched his arm free of Dean’s warm grip. “Explain what, exactly?! Why you cheated on me? Why you dumped me the night before prom? I don’t need an explanation, I wasn’t good enough for you and you left, simple as that. Now if you’d excuse me, I need to go find my friend.” He turned on his heel intent on leaving but Dean shouted after him. 

“No, Cas, no you weren’t.. no, please!” 

Castiel was already walking away but Dean slipped in front of him, nearly causing him to run face first into his chest. 

“Get out of my way,” he growled.

Dean held up his hands and took a step back from Castiel. “Please just hear me out, if you don’t like what you hear, you can leave. I just need five minutes.” 

Castiel sighed. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious as to why Dean did it. “Five minutes,” he relented. 

Dean breathed out a sigh of relief and nodded. “Let’s go for a walk.” 

Castiel let Dean lead him deeper into the maze and after about thirty seconds of silence, Castiel cleared his throat. “Clock’s ticking.” 

Dean jumped a little and then shook himself. “Right, sorry. I’m just… trying to figure out where to begin.” 

“Why don’t you start with Lisa,” Castiel suggested. Her name rolled off his tongue like it was something bitter and Dean flinched at the mention of her. 

“I know I can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ and everything can just fix itself.” Castiel hummed in agreement but didn’t say anything. Dean licked his lips and cleared his throat as he took a sharp right that brought them farther into the maze. “But I _am_ sorry. It was a mistake. I was going through some stuff with my Dad, and… I’m just gonna come out and say it, I was scared.” 

Castiel raised an eyebrow at him and even in the dark he could see red start to creep up Dean’s neck. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he muttered. 

“Continue,” Castiel said as he restored his face to his normal indifferent mask. 

There was a beat of silence before Dean began to talk again. “My Dad’s not real fond of anything related to being gay. He was starting to become suspicious of something going on between us and he was making… threats.” 

“Threats?” Castiel echoed. 

Dean nodded. “He said he’d throw me out of the house if he found out I was ‘some fag’ and he threatened Sam, I couldn’t…” Dean’s voice broke a little at the mention of his brother and Castiel felt a sudden urge to comfort him, but he refrained. “I couldn’t leave Sammy alone in the house with him, Cas, I couldn’t. So I dunno, I guess I thought the best course of action was to show him that I was dating a girl. So I hooked up with Lisa, and then I ditched you before prom and went with her.”

Dean started to turn left down a pathway when Castiel reached out to stop him. “Why didn’t you just tell me? We could’ve figured something out.” 

Dean scuffed his feet and shrugged. “I thought you’d see me different.” 

“How so?” 

He shrugged again. “I dunno, I thought you’d dump me anyway if you found out that I was just a coward hiding who he was from his father.” 

Castiel met Dean’s gaze as he felt a slight flicker of anger light in his stomach. “You really thought that low of me?” 

Dean’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, Cas, I-” 

Castiel cut him off. “That I’d leave you because you were scared? It’s okay to be scared, Dean. I would have helped you. You could have stayed with me, Sam too. You didn’t have to… you didn’t have to shut me out, to _cheat_ on me.” 

“I know, I know, Cas, I’m so sorry.” Dean’s voice was cluttered with tears and he sank to the ground, back to the prickly hedges as he covered his face with his hands. “It was so fucking shitty of me, but there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t regretted it. I’m moved out now, and Sam’s about to start college, so he’ll be safe. My Dad’s not controlling my life anymore, and I-I can finally just be… _me._ ” 

Castiel stood there for a second, watching Dean’s shoulders shake with sobs, distant screams from people being jump scared in the maze wafted over them, but Castiel tuned them out as he slipped to the ground beside Dean and laid one hand on Dean’s back. 

“I know I don’t deserve it,” Dean choked out, “but please forgive me.”

Castiel bit his lip, everything in his body was telling him not to, that despite the _reason_ he did what he did, he shouldn’t just let him win that easily. Dean broke Castiel’s heart. He slept with Lisa the day before prom and then broke up with Castiel that night, leaving Castiel dateless and hurt. 

“I understand,” he said eventually as his palm worked small circles over Dean’s back. 

Dean raised his head and blinked tears from his eyes. “So you forgive me?”

Castiel shook his head. “I didn’t say that.” 

Dean’s shoulders slumped again. “It’s okay, I get it.” Dean sniffed and more tears left tracks across his cheeks. Castiel gently reached up to wipe them away, and Dean stiffened under his touch in shock. 

He smiled gently at Dean, letting his thumb brush against his wet cheeks. “You broke my heart, Dean. You left me alone right before what was supposed to be one of the best High School experiences anyone can have. I spent prom night at home, in my room, staring at my tuxedo wondering what I could have possibly done to drive you away-” 

“-nothing, Cas, you did nothing.” 

“I know, but I can’t just forget that. I can’t just accept your apology and move on like it never happened.”

Dean nodded and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. “I get it if you never want to see me again, but I had to tell you what happened… I-I’m lost without you, every morning I wake up and it’s like something is missing. I miss  _ you,  _ Cas. I miss you so much.” 

Castiel’s heart flipped in his chest at those words. “It would be a lie if I told you that I didn’t miss you too.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

Dean let out a watery chuckle and Castiel smiled as their eyes met. He could practically feel the tension between them and his eyes involuntarily slipped to look at Dean’s lips. 

_He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t._

But Dean’s eyes were also fixed on Castiel’s mouth and the urge to kiss him was too strong to ignore. They only hesitated for a moment before they were kissing. Castiel missed the feeling of Dean’s lips against his, the way they moved together perfectly, and as much as he wanted to stay here in this maze, with Dean forever, and get lost in their kisses, he forced himself to pull away. 

“That one was for free,” Castiel said as he began to stand. “You have to earn the rest.”

“That’s fair,” Dean replied through a small chuckle. “That’s fair.” 

“And for the record, we’re not square yet. It was just a kiss.” 

Dean nodded. “Got it.” 

Castiel nodded in return and turned to look at the pathway they were halfway down. “Now show me how to get out of this maze.”


End file.
